Ssso, I had just kidnapped two scientists and ordered them to construct for me a massive ssuper weapon capable of harnessing the magma of the Earth’s molten core in order to raise the planet’s temperature just enough to increase property value in Wyoming (which I had intended to turn into the world’s largest quicksand pit once the foolish Americans had moved in), when that color-shifting fool, Zartan, approaches me demanding I watch thiss new movie he wass obsessed with. Now, under normal circumstances I would never take film recommendations from some Aussie biker freak with a sskin condition, but Zartan wass irritatingly insistent that I watch what he called “the most heart-warming film of our generation”. Insolent wretch! Cobra Commander hass no heart!

Sso I watched the movie yesterday


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