2018 UPDATE: More awesome tackiness, thanks to Aaron Granger
Who doesn’t own an ugly Christmas sweater?
It’s probably currently tucked away in your closet, hiding scared behind that antiquated winter coat you’re still dreading to pull out (because then you’ve officially admitted, winter’s here). Whether you bought the hideous sweater from the thrift store for an offbeat college theme party, or you borrowed it from grandpa only to hold onto it forever, still, it’s somewhere in the stash.
With all of the hype surrounding unsightly Xmas sweaters … what about repulsive Thanksgiving sweaters, though? They’re much more uncommon, and they kick total turkey tail!
Below is a list of some of the best corny and tasteless Thanksgiving sweaters we ran across on the web. Have fun exploring and please feel free to share with all of the tacky persons you know!
30 Awesomely Tacky Thanksgiving Sweaters
1. Bro … Just, No
When Nicki Minaj said, “I look like ‘yes’, and you look like ‘no,'” we see now what she was referring to — this sweater!
A good friend would just tell this guy, “Bro … no,” and call it a day. If he was going for ugliest Thanksgiving sweater on the motherbleeping planet, well – his goofy behind passed with flying colors.
2. Oh My Goodness
We’ve been next to cars whose music is blaring obnoxiously loud, however we’ve never seen a shirt that was obnoxiously loud … until today.
3. The Lamont Sanford Collection
Most tacky and ugly sweaters don’t ‘hang’ quite right, know what we’re talking ‘ bout? The one above though, actually looks rather snug. It’s still TACKY as all hell, though, appears comfy toasty.
If it was aligned with the right boots and jeans, it could almost work at the dinner table and not cause the little sight that grandma still has left to fade to black.
4. In A Nutshell
This unlovely sweater, hands down though paints the Thanksgiving holiday scene better than any we’ve ever witnessed. What’s getting us though, is – does the bro have is hat twisted to the back and his leg up on the arm of the couch – REALLY? Kicka*s.
This home-made looking sweater is just bad, bad we tell you! It’s exceedingly awkward and cheesy. Providing that’s what your going for this turkey day, well, badda-bing badda-boom.
6. Even Cosby Wouldn’t Have Touched This
Do we, really have to say something about this garb? Okay, well, it is one of the worst things we’ve ever focused our retinas on.
Looking like it just stepped out of a Brady’s Bunch episode – the above sweater is so bad, that donning it in public it may attract potentially a head-slap from a random unknown (perhaps, from one of us here).
7. Wait, Turkey’s ‘Legal’ Now Too?
Ha, get it? Okay, not the best joke but the wise-crack’s still better than this sweater!
Well, come to think of it … maybe, it’s not that ‘bad.’ Plain, tacky – definitely; but, not necessarily bad. Everybody knows how turkey can send you into a trance/slumber after you eat massive amounts of it (thanks, tryptophan); thereby, factually this sweater-shirt is not that far off.
8. In Vest In Yourself
Okay now, this sweater is the epitome of tacky. Just look at it … omg, unt uh!
This sweater shouldn’t even be given away for free, honestly. The creepy looking turkeys are atrocious enough but, did they have to make it a vest on top of it! Awesomely garish this is.
9. *Insert Text Here*
We left the subheading blank on purpose, for you to fill in — because, we have absolutely no idea what to say about this sweater!
We will say this – nifty sewing. Whoever sewed this did a bang-up job, but that’s the extent of it. Bestow this sweater upon somebody and, don’t be surprised when they suddenly stop returning your texts and calls.
10. The “Why Is Everyone Rubbing In The Fact I’m Still Single!” Sweater
Wow, talk about a punch to the gut. Still, this sweater kills two birds with one stone – it’s ugly and a single-person magnet!
Say you’re friend Krista invites you over her house for Thanksgiving dinner. You wear the above sweater. Just so happens, several hot single guys are at the get-together as well. One of them sees your impressive tacky sweater and thinks to himself “hmm, scratch that, she can come sit with me..” Ya’ see! Ugly sweater snags ’em every time ;)
11. Okay, Let’s Bow Our Heads
This is so wonderfully tacky! Check out the full dinner on the table … candlelight included and all. Now that we look at it, this sweater has quite the amorous ambiance – wouldn’t you say?
Quixotic? Indeed. Ugly as butt cheeks? Oh, without a doubt. Throw this on if you wanna get people chattering at whatever Thanksgiving function you’re in attendance.
12. Holy Cow! (Bart Simpson voice)
Right, Homer would not even style this! You need shades damn near to look directly at this, and even then.
13. Is This Queen Latifah’s Sweater?
14. No Jokes Aside, Did Queen Latifah Have A Garage Sale or Something?!
Stop, ha! Another Thanksgiving sweater you can certainly see on Carlotta Brown, back in the day.
15. Vomit Bucket… Now! Please
This colorful piece is the tackiest of ’em all, just about! It’s a wonderful mix of contrary colors, crazy shapes and monstrosity.
16. Pilgrims Vs. Indians: Tonight At 8 pm!
What would a tawdry Thanksgiving sweater be without a pillaging pilgrim scene, huh? Uncivilized.
17. Saved By The (What The) Hell
Screech lost his sweater, didn’t he? Tell ’em we found it.
18. Burn Baby, Burn (This Sweater, That Is)
This tan, grotesque sweater is perfect for prune-skinned elder ladies and GILF‘s. It’ll go great with wheat-colored footwear.
19. “They Say I Walk Around Like I Got an ‘S’ On My Chest, Naw That’s a Semi-A*** & a Rooster Vest On My Chest”
This frightful Thanksgiving sweater actually’s without a single turkey on it. It’s the ideal Thanksgiving sweater for the person who happens to despise turkeys.
20. “Turkey Harvest White Pull-Over Now To The Curb Your Under Arrest,” Fashion Police
This turkey patch sweater is adorable yet simultaneously horrid, right? Looks soft and comfortable though, to say the least.
21. Ha, Ha Love The Movie … Despise The Shirt, Though
This sweater is good for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Nice (n’ ugly).
22. A Hot Mess
Another sweater you can throw on for both holidays. Front. Top. Back. Top. It doesn’t get more chintzy than this.
23. Pet Sweaters Rule! (Beavis voice)
24. He’s No Jive Turkey
Ha! This turkey’s plain not having it this year, or any year looks like.
25. Ugly Duckling? Turkey? We Don’t Know
That’s a custom-turkey shirt, we gather, but does it not resemble a duck a bit? Hmm, maybe it’s just the eggnog talking…
26. Looks Like A Painting In A Shrink’s Office
Doesn’t it?! Or, at least a shrink’s office is where you’ll end up if you elect to adopt this sweater.
27. Just ‘Cause It’s Bows (Sewn) On The Sleeve, Doesn’t Make This A Gift
Amen to that.
28. We’re Gonna Pump, You (Well, Your Stomach) Up
Ugly Thanksgiving Sweater 101: Register for classes now.
30. A Sight For Sore Eyes, Perfect Eyes, Blind Eyes, Whatever Eye!
If you opt not to dress in a repugnant Thanksgiving sweater, luckily you can always make your pets do it! They will probably hate you for it, of course – but hopefully, they’ll forgive and forget.
Now … what about you? Are you or anyone in your family wearing a ludicrously tacky Thanksgiving sweater this year for the holidays? Let us know!