Sometimes you will see a movie and walk away from it wishing you could play it. Wishing you could spend more time in that universe because it was fully realized and cool. Sometimes, there are movies that deserve video game adaptations, but for some stupid-ass reason never get them. Why? Because the major game companies would much rather keep spewing unoriginal sequels that are just re-skins of their last games than give us a franchise we might actually slurp up little little thirsty piglets. Here are 6 movies that deserve video game adaptations, yet never got them because some powerful people in charge make sucky decisions and also because some adaptations don’t always….eh, no nice way to say it. Sometimes video game adaptations are rushed out and end up sucking as a result. So maybe, in some of these cases, this was for the best. Sad part is, we will never know.
Equilibrium came out same time as Matrix so people ignored it EVEN THOUGH IT IS THE FAR SUPERIOR MOVIE. Yes, that was just said. Suck on it for a second. Equilibrium was about a world where art was banned and there were people who had to enforce this rule strictly. The gun play in the movie was called “Gun Fu” as as lame as that sounds, watch this:
Any questions why it would be a great game? Didn’t think so. Moving on….
Big Trouble in Little China
You are all geeking out to how right I am about this right now, I can tell. Big Trouble in Little China was the ideal cult movie because of how insane and funny and dark and odd and friggin’ great it was. Featuring Kurt Russell, a few weird-ass creatures, and some great and funny battle scenes, how could this NOT be a good video game adaptation?
But we should wait on this, as there is a reboot coming out that may diarrhea dump all over how good the original was and make me change my mind about this.
The Last Starfighter
So let me get this straight. This is a movie about a guy who is SO GOOD at a space video game, actual aliens take him into space to help them fight a war. Do you realize that may very well be the coolest movie concept of all time to geeks? Being good at a game leads to you saving actual universe. The biggest nerd dream ever, realized.
Thing is, THERE WAS NO ACTUAL GAME.
Like, how big of a marketing fuck up was that on someone’s part? A movie about a space game that could have made an ACTUAL space game exist to geek out kids never made actual space game. Again, this was an Atari E.T sized fuck up in my eyes. This would have been cross-media branding before that even a thing.
What many consider to be the greatest anime movie ever made (outside of Akira), Ninja Scroll showed us what life was like for one wandering, nomad ninja just trying to make his way through the world. A movie so perfectly set up and paced, you can actually watch the movie and spot the “boss fights”, and how they would all play differently in a game.
Ninja Scroll is about as badass as ninja movies get, be it animated or not. And some of the other character were also born for video games. So, um, why hasn’t it been a video game? That is not cool. I want to yell Jubei will I kill things.
Speaking of badass ninja….
Oh, come on? This movie is already laid out by boss fights. She fights through a level, then has to fight one of the major assassins at the end of every level and we get to recreate said fights from the movie. Think about that kitchen fight scene in real time, being able to control it (and NO, not quicktime events. Fuck that shit).
Everything from the musical score to the settings and stylish violence would all lend itself incredibly well to a video game. Plus, real time limb severing sword mechanic just like the recent swordplay in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. Yeah, I know, sounds like the coolest shit ever.
Screw this website shit, I am just gonna start writing games.