Often, when we talk about geek movies, superheroes come to mind; but in reality, the definition goes far beyond that to pretty much anything my 12-year-old self would have eagerly consumed. By adopting the broader label, we can mingle superheroes with summer blockbusters, sci-fi, and more. And when I was a youngster, I was always excited to see how Hollywood might handle these types of properties. Unfortunately, they didn’t always get it right, as evidenced by these 8 Geek Movies We’d Like To Obliterate From Existence. We could have probably come up with 80, but due to space and time constraints, these will have to do. Here goes.
8. Masters Of The Universe
Let’s see. Take a popular children’s cartoon and then fashion a movie that doesn’t even resemble it. Oh sure, we get He-Man (Dolph Lundgren), Skeletor (Frank Langella), and Evil-Lyn (Meg Foster), but that’s pretty much where the similarities end. Call it budget constraints or surefire executive idiocy, but this thing sucked. And with the recent news of a remake, we’re not encouraged. After all, they were going to let the guy behind the two Justin Bieber movies, the Step-Up franchise, and that horrible G.I. Joe sequel do the honors. On second thought, we’ll keep the Lundgren version.
7 and 6, respectively. Man Of Steel / Superman Returns
Man Of Steel was botched so badly in the last hour that it completely ruined an otherwise interesting take on the character. Superman Returns is just a dreadfully boring film — ambitious in its attempt at creating a sequel to the Christopher Reeve version of the character, but horribly flawed in every other respect.
5, 4, and 3. Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy
5) Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith was the best of the three, but that isn’t saying much. The dialogue is hammy, the acting is awful, and the payoff just isn’t what we envisioned when we started these movies out, fresh-faced and full of hope. 4) Episode II: Attack Of The Clones suffers from CGI overload. 3) Episode I: The Phantom Menace … just horrible.
2. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Was this movie any good? I tuned out after one of the worst scenes ever committed to film. (Yes, the refrigerator sequence.)
Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t walk out. I heard the noises and saw the bright colors, but by then, this long-awaited sequel had officially crossed over into “atrocity.”
1. The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
If you read the excellent, funny, and thought-provoking graphic novel, then no further explanation is necessary. Just bad special effects and a cast and crew, who were making a “comic book movie” — as loudly and stupidly as possible — instead of adapting the actual source material. The results: the critical aggregator Rotten Tomatoes shows it currently with a 17 percent “rotten” rating, one point lower than Masters Of The Universe, which we didn’t even think was possible.
Agree or disagree? What geek movies do you wish you could erase from existence? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.