The truth is, I just wanted to let me girlfriend know I wanted to have sex. I mean, I could have just told her or kissed her neck or something, but come on. What originality lies in that? A poem or some roses? What do you think this is, a high school prom? No, we are adults. And when an adult geek wants to engage another adult geek in a little sideways hula, there is no better foreplay than a super hero, leaning in over your bed, letting you know he wants to SHOOP the shit out of you.
So what did I do?
I grabbed a chalk board shaped kinda like a cloud, I grabbed some chalk, and I went about crafting the best damn invitation to constant sex ever. His name is Bedpool, and he hangs just a wee bit overhead, over the bed, and sings *Shoop” in a loop by Salt N’ Pepa to get you all riled up and in the mood. So how does it work?
Well, after two days of no sex, I can safely tell you it doesn’t. Thanks Bedpool!
*Please note, the Shoop part is a massive lie, but sounded really cool in my head. All else is true, though, so suck this chimichanga.