There has been a LOT of talk in the video game industry lately about the way they represent and treat women. Half naked, huge tits, and the intellectual minds of a seven year old. Not exactly the best way to represent a gender who has fought oppression for as long as they have existed. But there is something being left out of all this gamergate talk. Does ANYONE think men are being represented fairly? If the women are half naked and sexualized, what would you call a man who is the size of a truck, speaks in a gravelly tone, is ripped, and happens to be athletic and cool in all aspects of life? Much like I don’t know any giant titted women with white hair in real life who carry electric whips, I also don’t know any dudes who look or act anything like men in gaming. So how about we all step back and realize, holy sh*t, these are caricatures and we should probably chill the hell out? No, I have an even better idea. Considering we KNOW that will never happen, how about us men get equally outraged at the way we are represented by the video game industry? Consider this my open letter to them, letting them know this madness has to stop (sarcasm font).
Dear Patriarchal Video Game Industry,
I want you to know I just went through all the photos of every developer ever, and there is not ONE person who develops games who looks ANYTHING like the ‘men’ in Gear of War. I put the word ‘men’ in quotes there because are they really men? They look more like jacked up gym douches who would call me a panty waste if they ever saw me in person. I also have some inquiries about the “space marine” archetype, specifically the one used in Gears of War. Great series, but how do those guys stay so buff when we never see them eat, the world has a food shortage, and we never see them work out? Hell, we see them GARDEN in between games. Yet, each new games, they are more jacked and more scarred (and sometimes, even have grown beards because, you know, it’s what manly men do). But please allow me to ask. Outside of The Mountain on Game of Thrones, who looks like that archetype?
Who can relate to those space marines? Is that a fair way to represent my gender? Just adrenaline filled beefcakes. Sorry, but that is unfair to us. Hollywood does this, too, and it is has to stop (or something)!!!!
So when was the last time you played through a video game where the lead male had a Dadbod? It has been wholly proven by pop culture right now that a majority of men have Dad bods and not “Video Game Character” bods, yet do we see that ever? Hell, even when I am controlling a Dad in GTA V, he is pretty much Ray Liotta and still a super badass. Hell, even the murderer with the gut who takes meth STILL looks cooler than anyone I know. The hell is up with that, video game industry? Do you think we are just gonna roll over and let you misrepresent us? Well, give us a sec because when we roll over, our Dadbods make it hard to get back up.
Okay, back up. That was exhausting. So has my point been made yet? If not, please allow me to spell it out for you.
Shut Up and Deal With It
This is all stupid, whiny bullsh*t perpetuated by narcissistic gamers who feel the world owes them something. Just like when Mass Effect 3 ended differently than they wanted and they all whined until they got their way. Screw that. Shut up, women and men. If you don’t like how you are represented in games, become an indie developer and make your own games with fat men and fat women and you all can be happy. In the meantime, stop letting you stupid insecurities melt into gaming. It just makes us look like whiny pussies and makes the world lose respect for the scene.
If You Don’t Like It, Shut It Off
The way the world works is, in fiction, people are always bigger and better and more beautiful than real life. You wanna watch a fat person struggle, go to Walmart and hang around the scooter carriages. But for now, keep your bitching out of my games, because I, for one, like the escapism. I will never be a buff space marine, but does that bother me? Not in the least. It’a just a video game, after all. In my games, I like different worlds. Screw people who look like people. Give me sexy and beastly any day.
Chicks with big tits and even bigger guns, and dudes who look like they could squash me under their boot (or at least easily out drink me). For those who so desperately want real life, go outside and shut up.